Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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