for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
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So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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