Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
