As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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