wanna go halves on a baby?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
