hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize