What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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