you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
