I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize