butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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