Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
