last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
