I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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