Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
false alarm, still single
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
