I just made out with a guy for $7.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
A bitchslap is in order.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize