Do you still have your period?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
