Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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