this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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