If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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