I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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