I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
