Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
