i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
