I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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