I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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