grandma shit on top of the toilet
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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