YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
