you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
