last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
