Need sex. Gaining weight.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
