Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
