I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
