He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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