Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
