i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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