I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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