How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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