i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
