4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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