pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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