so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
