Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
