It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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