I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
