I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
