If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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