# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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