I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
