it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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