the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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