The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
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