you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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