Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..