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• (631): View more from New York

  the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

  (315): View more from New York

  Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.

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• (631): View more from New York

  My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS

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