Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.