based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.