I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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