i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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