We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
