If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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