you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
