he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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