he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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