So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
