Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
